Monday, January 17, 2011

I have this nagging thought . . . .

that I've forgotten to do something.  Something important . . . maybe that's not quite the right word . . . something usual . . . perhaps that's closer to my feeling . . . what can it be . . .

I remembered to laugh as I wrapped my future daughter in law in duct tape to create a clone that I could use to create her wedding dress.

I've even remembered to start making the dress, and the bridesmaid's dresses with her help, although as it is very much "secret women's business", no glimpses will be had here.

I remembered to admire Crepuscule on the side gate archway - then had to tie the archway more securely to the fence when the wind threatened to blow the whole thing over!

I remembered to travel to Tasmania in November for my nephew's wedding.  Such glorious weather, such a quaint place, such lovely gardens everywhere.  We stayed in Ulverstone and the foxgloves were flowering - every second garden had glorious foxgloves with flower spires almost to the guttering.  Did I take any photos of them - of course not!  Everywhere we went, the camera was stowed in the bag in the boot of the car!  In our wanderings from Launceston, where we landed, to Ulverstone, where we stayed, we even drove past Forest Hall, Susan Irvine's garden.  It looked a little sad.

The wedding, however, was a lovely happy occasion and we enjoyed ourselves greatly.

When Crepuscule was flowering so profusely, as in the above photo, I did forget to look under it's spreading limbs at the fishpond underneath.  Then I remembered and found the last flowers on the water iris I bought last year on eBay.

Gosh, I'm so glad I remembered to look.

The clematis outside the kitchen window has flowered, despite it's less than ideal position.  This photo was taken in November and it is still flowering.

Hagley's Hybrid, I think it's called.  There's another thing I ought to remember.

I remember that my new quilting machine arrived in the first week in December.  I can't wait to get back to quilting, after my dressmaking is finished.

And I didn't forget to take a photo of Leander being generous again, remembering my previous complaints.

I remembered to travel to Dorrigo again on 11 December, to celebrate my Auntie and Uncle's 75th Wedding Anniversary!

When you're 98, a cupcake for morning tea with a houseful of friends and relations could probably only be topped by a card from the Queen!

They were even on the tele!

While we were in Dorrigo, we got a call from the nursing home at Glenhaven to say that Mum had had a fall out of bed, and that she hadn't been very well.  We got back home on the Monday evening and on the Wednesday, I went down to see her.  I remember clearly how shocked and distressed I was to see her.  I remember feeding her her lunch - it was Christmas lunch and her roast turkey had been totally pulverised so she didn't have to chew it.  Even so, there were bits that she couldn't manage.  I haven't forgotten how she was trying to talk to me but her voice was a whisper and she could manage only a word then couldn't seem to find the next one.  How I sat there, holding her hand and how I felt my whole world start to tilt.  I remembered to arrange with my sister in law to meet at the nursing home on the Friday morning, but I didn't guess that my brother would ring me at 7.00am on Friday, 17 December and say "she's gone".

I didn't forget to go to my brother's house the following day to help my siblings arrange for my dear old Mum's funeral, but I didn't guess that while I was there, I would get a call on my mobile from Mike to say that his Mum had just passed away as well.

I remember clearly the 5 days that passed before the funeral, I remember dreading the day coming, I remember arriving at the cemetery, the service, I remember how her 2 sons and her 4 grandsons carried her from the chapel to the steps, I remember holding so tightly to my son's other hand as we carried her to her resting place where we had carried my dad 24 years before.

And I can't forget that the following day (Christmas Eve) we went back and did it again for Mike's Mum.

I remembered to go down to my brother's house this last Saturday, to find all Mum's remaining possessions in boxes and laid out on tables for distribution to us children.  I'm thinking about how relatively smoothly the day went, but how when I got home that evening, I just couldn't bring myself to take the stuff I had got, out of the car.  I didn't do it yesterday morning either, instead had a bridesmaid's dress sewing day.  But last night, I remembered to carry in the boxes from my car and opened them.

How can you cry over a pile of coat hangers?  I guess it's not the coat hangers themselves, it's just the knowing that you will never hang up a skirt or a blouse for your mother ever again.

My sorrow at the moment is drowning me.  I just want everything to go back to normal.

So I've remembered what it is that I forgot to do . . . it was to blog about it.